This isn't a question, but I just had something I wanted to share with you.
When I was younger, my father was a huge fan of the show. One night, he allowed me to stay up late and watch an episode of it with him, which in all honesty, was a terrible idea on his part because I literally wound up having nightmares for three years afterwards. (That episode was "Firewalker," if you're curious). After that night, I completely boycotted the show, telling myself that it was far too scary. Dad wholeheartedly agreed with this decision on my part, as he often awoke at ungodly hours of the morning to me running into his bedroom crying, "Daddy, the plant thing is going to break through my neck!"
To be honest, I still am not crazy about frightening television series or films in general, but several years later, as I was feeling a little more daring, I decided to watch "Fight the Future." Well, Frank, I was hooked. I think I just needed a few more years behind me to realize what an amazing thing I had been missing out on. And I'll be honest, it still scared the shit out of me. And I still had nightmares ("Home" is, perhaps, one of the scariest things I have ever seen...ever), but I was so completely fascinated by the show as a whole that it didn't matter. I began watching the new episodes once a week and luckily, a local television station showed reruns, so I was able to catch up on the earlier seasons in no time at all.
At this point in time (I was a young teenager then) I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I struggled with bipolar disorder, and felt very out of place and very... lost. The only thing that really seemed to keep me grounded and sane was the show. And I realize that sounds ridiculous, because it sounds ridiculous to me, even now. But it's the truth. At that point in my life, I was just floating. I had large bouts of depression, and by the age of 15, I had attempted suicide twice.
This letter isn't meant to be depressing, and I'm sorry if it comes across that way. As a 22-year-old now, I overcame my struggles, and I now live a very happy and healthy life... it has a lot to do with "The X-Files." Let me explain:
I had no aspirations or dreams for the future when I was a young teenager. But as I watched the show, I became fascinated with the writing -- and soon, I began writing myself. Stories, poetry, music, plays. All complete shit, believe you me, but I finally felt... productive. I watched the show and became fascinated with the technical aspects of it as well -- I started researching film making and found myself completely enthralled with it.
I was always terribly shy in my adolescence -- so much, in fact, that I could not speak to strangers without becoming completely overwhelmed. I had anxiety attacks, avoided social situations at all costs and did what I could to stay away from all people in general. After watching Gillian Anderson's performance in "Beyond the Sea," I suddenly thought to myself, "I want to do that. I want to act." This was a strange epiphany, because it was literally the last thing I could have ever imagined myself doing -- acting.
I discovered when I was learning about or doing these things -- acting, film making, writing, creating -- I was happy. Ecstatic, really. I felt like I had finally figured out what I needed to do with my life. Things finally started to make sense.
Several years later, that is exactly what I am doing. Granted, it's not how I am making my living, but I decided that if I was ever going to be happy, I had to do it, I had to give it a shot. I moved ten hours away from my home to Vancouver, where I studied acting and scriptwriting. I created and currently head a theatre company. Now, I spend my days writing, directing, and producing theatre, auditioning for theatre/film/television like mad ("I'm in the auditioning business, not the acting business"), performing, acting and singing when I have the chance and opportunity, and directing/filming and editing small independent films. Granted, I wait tables at night to pay the bills, but that's irrelevant to me -- I'm not technically making a living at this, but I am happy doing what I do. And I would not be here doing it without the inspiration I got from "X-Files." I LOVE life and I owe it to that show.
Frank, I would like to thank you and everyone else involved with the creation of a series that literally changed my life. I do not watch television anymore. One of the main reasons (aside from the lack of time and, of course, the starving artist's budget) is because there is nothing on that compares to the quality of "TheX-Files." It was brilliant in so many ways, and most of the television shows on the air now don't even hold a candle to it.
The morning that the filming of the second "X-Files" film began, I felt an odd calm in the city and within myself. I was in a production at that time, and walking to rehearsal. I can recall thinking to myself, "I would not be walking along this sidewalk toward this theatre if it wasn't for that show." I knew, that somewhere in the city, the one thing that inspired me to pursue a career in the arts was beginning again. It was the most amazing feeling.
Thank you for your genius and for all of the work you put into this show over the years. It's impossible for me to fully express how much it means and has meant to me and to the rest of the fans out there. We are still out here and we are not going anywhere.
I've heard rumors of a third film... if it's true, then I'll see you at the auditions. (I joke!)
Thank you for everything, Frank. You are a hero to so many of us, especially to me.
Becky
Vancouver, BC
