MEMENTO
Dear Mr. Spotnitz,
I've just finished watching "Milagro" on DVD (which time that was I don't even know, 15th? 20th?) Tears in my eyes, I just can't help wondering about the time that has passed since the first "X-Files" episode aired. When the series first started, I was a little girl and my parents didn't let me watch it, so every Thursday evening (in Poland the XF was on Thursdays!) I would kiss them goodnigt, leave the door of the living-room half-open and peep from behind the cupboard in the corridor... I was the happiest kid in the world. I paid the price for disobedience though: having watched "Squeeze," I was afraid to close the bathroom door (the scene in Scully's apartment!) and after "The Host" my heart would beat faster every time I'd see a drain (now a Flukeman's picture is hanging above my desk :)). Ever since childhood, I've wanted to be a writer and the first piece of prose that I wrote as a kid was an XF fanfic. Pretty lame I must say; I came up with that paranormal storyline, unbelievably complicated and developed, but whose only point was to give Scully and Mulder a chance to touch their hands and exchange "the look" :) Now, that you offered us this beautiful gift -- the second movie, I am 23 years old, I prepare two masters of literature and I work on my first novel. And Mr. Spotnitz, how shall I describe what I felt that first evening in the theater...? God, what a feeling! When I saw your name on the screen, your name that became so particularly dear to me, now that I know I entered a path similar to yours... How many things happened since I first wanted to follow this path and study literature? How shall I describe what I felt when I heared the beloved XF theme and saw those two caracters, so different now and yet still so well known? Scully's face so stunningly sculpted by time made me fall in love with her again... And Mulder with his beard that made me freeze at first and then gave me that "banana smile"... Those lines heared for the first time and yet sounding so familiar, all those blinks of an eye that only fans could notice... I broke down to tears, not exactly understanding why... I still don't understand. But I keep thinking how powerful that thing is, that thing made from countless elements that made the series what it was. I guess I couldn't really handle it again, I wasn't prepared... When the series ended on TV I admit I put the XF away, moved on quite well without the sacred ritual of watching it every week, I guess I forgot how much I loved it. But you brought something back with the movie and you made me wonder, like old times, or even more. I love "Milagro," this beautiful pearl of yours so much, because it wouldn't let me sleep at night. This sentence "Man's only power is to destroy"... God, I couldn't get it out of my mind for so long! I still get chills when I think about it. Those eternal questions about the relationship between reality and fiction, reality and language, thought and event, seeing and believing, all those crucial questions, you raised them again with the movie, maybe less directly this time... I guess this may be the last level of a film perception, the most personal one, the one that involves all your previous experiences with the series, your own story and all that's beyond the actual contents of the film. But I think that for us, the X-philes, this level is particularly important. "I Want To Believe" was more, so much more than random viewers and critics can ever know...
And there's something else... When the show was on, I became a member of a Polish XF forum where I met a whole bunch of wise, hilarious and beautiful people... There was that girl, a young writer herself, who lived not far from me. I used to talk to her a lot and learn from her with every sentence exchanged. We were seeking answers to the same questions, only with different eyes. Then one day, when we were both going through some hard times, we receded somehow... I thought I lost
her. But you, YOU, gave us a chance to find each other again. It is priceless. So how frustrating that is to depend on some stupid box-office numbers for this thing to continue! We are doing everything we can -- signing petitions, sending letters, we'll be buying the DVDs...
I just hope it will be enough and that this wonderful journey hasn't just ended. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do.
Meanwile I'm sending you endless thank yous, for everything since 1993...
Forever loving,
Aleksandra
Poland
P.S. Very best and heartfelt wishes to Mr. Carter, my hero, get well quickly! And to David.
I've just finished watching "Milagro" on DVD (which time that was I don't even know, 15th? 20th?) Tears in my eyes, I just can't help wondering about the time that has passed since the first "X-Files" episode aired. When the series first started, I was a little girl and my parents didn't let me watch it, so every Thursday evening (in Poland the XF was on Thursdays!) I would kiss them goodnigt, leave the door of the living-room half-open and peep from behind the cupboard in the corridor... I was the happiest kid in the world. I paid the price for disobedience though: having watched "Squeeze," I was afraid to close the bathroom door (the scene in Scully's apartment!) and after "The Host" my heart would beat faster every time I'd see a drain (now a Flukeman's picture is hanging above my desk :)). Ever since childhood, I've wanted to be a writer and the first piece of prose that I wrote as a kid was an XF fanfic. Pretty lame I must say; I came up with that paranormal storyline, unbelievably complicated and developed, but whose only point was to give Scully and Mulder a chance to touch their hands and exchange "the look" :) Now, that you offered us this beautiful gift -- the second movie, I am 23 years old, I prepare two masters of literature and I work on my first novel. And Mr. Spotnitz, how shall I describe what I felt that first evening in the theater...? God, what a feeling! When I saw your name on the screen, your name that became so particularly dear to me, now that I know I entered a path similar to yours... How many things happened since I first wanted to follow this path and study literature? How shall I describe what I felt when I heared the beloved XF theme and saw those two caracters, so different now and yet still so well known? Scully's face so stunningly sculpted by time made me fall in love with her again... And Mulder with his beard that made me freeze at first and then gave me that "banana smile"... Those lines heared for the first time and yet sounding so familiar, all those blinks of an eye that only fans could notice... I broke down to tears, not exactly understanding why... I still don't understand. But I keep thinking how powerful that thing is, that thing made from countless elements that made the series what it was. I guess I couldn't really handle it again, I wasn't prepared... When the series ended on TV I admit I put the XF away, moved on quite well without the sacred ritual of watching it every week, I guess I forgot how much I loved it. But you brought something back with the movie and you made me wonder, like old times, or even more. I love "Milagro," this beautiful pearl of yours so much, because it wouldn't let me sleep at night. This sentence "Man's only power is to destroy"... God, I couldn't get it out of my mind for so long! I still get chills when I think about it. Those eternal questions about the relationship between reality and fiction, reality and language, thought and event, seeing and believing, all those crucial questions, you raised them again with the movie, maybe less directly this time... I guess this may be the last level of a film perception, the most personal one, the one that involves all your previous experiences with the series, your own story and all that's beyond the actual contents of the film. But I think that for us, the X-philes, this level is particularly important. "I Want To Believe" was more, so much more than random viewers and critics can ever know...
And there's something else... When the show was on, I became a member of a Polish XF forum where I met a whole bunch of wise, hilarious and beautiful people... There was that girl, a young writer herself, who lived not far from me. I used to talk to her a lot and learn from her with every sentence exchanged. We were seeking answers to the same questions, only with different eyes. Then one day, when we were both going through some hard times, we receded somehow... I thought I lost
her. But you, YOU, gave us a chance to find each other again. It is priceless. So how frustrating that is to depend on some stupid box-office numbers for this thing to continue! We are doing everything we can -- signing petitions, sending letters, we'll be buying the DVDs...
I just hope it will be enough and that this wonderful journey hasn't just ended. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do.
Meanwile I'm sending you endless thank yous, for everything since 1993...
Forever loving,
Aleksandra
Poland
P.S. Very best and heartfelt wishes to Mr. Carter, my hero, get well quickly! And to David.
<< Home