A LIFE PRESERVER
I've debated whether or not to share this story, as most people in my life don't know of my troubles over the last few years. But as I meet and talk with more Philes and read e-mails posted here, I realize that what "The X-Files" did for me isn't that much different than what it's done for others. And for all this show has done for me, the least I can do is share me experience and say how grateful I am that "The X-Files" and now IWTB are a part of my life.
For people who have never been depressed it's hard to understand what that means, but I think in its most basic form, it's like being trapped under water, and no matter how hard you swim for the surface, you can't get your head above water. I was numb to the world, and wanted nothing more then to make it all go away and get out of my own head. I kept waiting for someone to throw me a life preserver, give me something, anything, to pull myself up by.
And then, came the announcement of XF2.
My life preserver.
I grabbed on, and slowly started to pull myself up. Within in a few weeks, I was posting in a thread at the Haven, some battle about M&S and whether or not they're together in "I Want to Believe," and all of the sudden, I felt. I cared. I wanted to know what happens to them, I actually cared what happened to them.
I hadn't cared about anything in a very long time.
And slowly, over the next few weeks and months, I started to feel other things, other emotions that were long dead. My therapist said that whatever I was holding onto, not to let it go, and keep myself swimming. So that's what I did, I've held on tight to the XF2 and have kept myself afloat.
Each day, I get better. Stronger. And people are telling me how beautiful my smile is again. They didn't say that for a long time.
I owe this movie and this show my life. If it hadn't have come along back when it did, it wouldn't be here for me now, and I wouldn't OK again. I don't know exactly what it is about Mulder and Scully or "The X-Files" that makes it able to touch myself and others like this, but I am eternally grateful that it does.
So I'd like to say thank you to you Frank, and to Chris, to David and Gillian, and everyone who ever worked to bring this show and this movie to life. I don't know where I'd be right now without it.
P.S. I've since "graduated" from therapy and through a strict regime of diet, exercise, and me time I'm doing amazingly and am back on the path that I want to be in.
Kylie
California
For people who have never been depressed it's hard to understand what that means, but I think in its most basic form, it's like being trapped under water, and no matter how hard you swim for the surface, you can't get your head above water. I was numb to the world, and wanted nothing more then to make it all go away and get out of my own head. I kept waiting for someone to throw me a life preserver, give me something, anything, to pull myself up by.
And then, came the announcement of XF2.
My life preserver.
I grabbed on, and slowly started to pull myself up. Within in a few weeks, I was posting in a thread at the Haven, some battle about M&S and whether or not they're together in "I Want to Believe," and all of the sudden, I felt. I cared. I wanted to know what happens to them, I actually cared what happened to them.
I hadn't cared about anything in a very long time.
And slowly, over the next few weeks and months, I started to feel other things, other emotions that were long dead. My therapist said that whatever I was holding onto, not to let it go, and keep myself swimming. So that's what I did, I've held on tight to the XF2 and have kept myself afloat.
Each day, I get better. Stronger. And people are telling me how beautiful my smile is again. They didn't say that for a long time.
I owe this movie and this show my life. If it hadn't have come along back when it did, it wouldn't be here for me now, and I wouldn't OK again. I don't know exactly what it is about Mulder and Scully or "The X-Files" that makes it able to touch myself and others like this, but I am eternally grateful that it does.
So I'd like to say thank you to you Frank, and to Chris, to David and Gillian, and everyone who ever worked to bring this show and this movie to life. I don't know where I'd be right now without it.
P.S. I've since "graduated" from therapy and through a strict regime of diet, exercise, and me time I'm doing amazingly and am back on the path that I want to be in.
Kylie
California
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